Thursday, March 5, 2009

sperm whale

If a blue whale's penis is six feet long (that's what he told the marine biologist, anyway) than I wish the individual sperm were commensurate in size and that I could keep one in a fish tank.  I would put my hand in and it would bonk at me, as if I were an egg.  Bonk, bonk, bonk.  In summer, I could put a few in the swimming pool and let them bonk the people.  Bonk.  Or we could put one in and call it Tag.  If you get tagged we say, "you're a preggo blue whale, congratulations!"  And then you get out of the pool and we get you some champagne.   Champagne is good for an imaginary blue whale fetus.  

Good idea?!  Great idea, but the damn sperms are kind of normal tiny size.


Luis.Andrei.Cobo said...

...and then there would be that one silly party guest who'd sneak a large blue whale egg into your fish tank...forcing you to buy a much bigger tank.

JMH said...

that's so romantic. i hope that's what happens. I can get a whale placenta on ebay.

Anonymous said...

You are a truly strange person. Me likey.